We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
