oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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