I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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