She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
