I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
