I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
