I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
