but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
