Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
