She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize