it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
