coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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