Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
