I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
