Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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