Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
