Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
