More tranny stories later!
I wish my penis had an off switch
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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