i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I came so hard my ears popped.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
