New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
