he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
