i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My penis needs a shock collar
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
