The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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