he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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