We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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