I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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