I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
