i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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