The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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