no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Oh god it's open bar.
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