tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
