They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
