Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
