oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize