Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
