this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize