Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
