were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
