My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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