Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
