I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
