Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
so much tequila, so little girl.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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