youre lurking in front of me
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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