where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
