Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
