I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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