You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
