At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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