so explain again why im purple
no
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
