So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
