Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
