You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
