Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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