She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
