Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
