Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
it's like iHOP with fire
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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