he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
