He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
