A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just had sex on a roof
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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