dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
