Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
do herpes really smell.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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