you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
