I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
