Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
