if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
