someone get that fucking seahorse.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
