I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
