Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Your dad touched me again.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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