remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
