sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize