Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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