this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We are two peas in an std pod
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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