so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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