Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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