i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
