my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
