Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
