he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
