I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
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