Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
