Fine. I'll sleep in my office
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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