You can't special order awesome
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My dick has a subreddit
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
