I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
false alarm, still single
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
