are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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