He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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