I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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