Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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