But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
